That Time I Was At A Picnic and Was Made Fun Of For a First Date

So, you know these outdoorsy people who love camping and like, breathing fresh air and sunlight and all that? Yeah, I’m friends with those people, too. They like to have picnics. Picnics sound nice when you’re in a romance novel and there are sweeping green lawns and perhaps a time traveler who spends his life jumping back and forth, always coming back to you at various points in your life.

Anyway, let’s get off the topic of The Time Traveler’s Wife and back to how I am not a fan of picnics, but really because, like, they’re outside and there are bugs! Bugs are gross. Now that I’m fully back at work, having to go outside every day, guess how many mosquito bites I have now?

Did you guess 1,000? Because that’s correct!

Quarantine sucks, but at least there are no mosquitos inside.

And don’t get me started about the ants. At picnics, I mean.

So I’m at this picnic, trying not to be that girl that sees ants and is like “AHH ANTS” but also I hate ants, due to this paralyzing fear I developed as a child when I opened the front door (because my mom was like, Alana, don’t open the front door) and it was COVERED IN ANTS. Think about it. A solid piece of wood that is towering above your head. Every inch covered. In black. Ants.

You’re welcome for that image.

So I join the group sitting happily on blankets and digging into the food and I catch the end of this conversation some guy was telling his friends about this “crazy” girl he went on a date with.

“She was so obsessed with her rabbits,” he said. Everyone laughed.

Oh no.

“That’s all she talked about on the date,” he said.

O no. Yeah that was definitely me. It was long ago enough I guess that the guy didn’t recognize me, so that’s cool.

Now, thinking back to that date, I definitely didn’t talk about my rabbits that much….did I?

“She even showed me pictures.”

Well duh! Who wouldn’t want to see pictures of cute bunnies?!

Okay maybe I did talk about them a lot. But damn, I did not expect to hear about myself in this way! The crazy bunny lady!

I’ve kept that in mind for the following dates I’ve been on. Lesson learned. And I definitely still hate picnics.

English teacher by trade, story writer for fun